Silent Answer

I don't know what to think or feel in certain situations
I could just let it be what it is and leave it alone
then again deep down inside i want to know
I want to ask..but the reality of it is do I REALLY want to know?
I'm silently wanting to ask questions that I think I may already have the answers to.
So now what do I do?
I can't sit up here and play "the fool"
that role ain't cool..
Yea I've made my mistakes but no longer can I be disgraced and feel out of place
So I sit down to pray, and state my case
"God, I know you hear me I'm callin' your name"
Then I patiently wait for an answer.
I wait and wait and wait.

Friends

You grow up with some, you grow apart from many.
Ups and downs happen you gain some and lose plenty
Fights, arguments disagreements too
Back and fourth bickering of who said what to who
after a while the shit goes old
Gotta decide what and who and decide how much energy you let some of those "friends" get from you.
Not all friends are true friends
Not all friends are real friends
Not all friends are friends period
More like associates or leaves that blow with the wind;
they decide to stick around when it's best for them or when they can benefit
Lessons always need to be learned and I think I'm learning mine
I guess that little saying is right....
Everything does come to light in due time...

Instant Thought of Change

So what do you do when you feel like everything is crashing around you?

I write but that only suffices to a certain extent.
Letting out a good cry does some good for a moment, but those feelings i wish would just disappear, still remain
It's like I'm on a train that keeps going and going and going, and I don't know when or where it's going to stop.
I pray to God for some guidance, and I know He hears me but I don't feel anything moving.
Desperate for some answers I keep asking
Me, Myself and I
Reevaluating but I get stuck
Because I do not have all the answers, if any

It's like, in a sense, I'm at the end of a rope I'm constantly trying to hold on to with the hope of several things changing
The change won't start until I make the final decision that I want it.
I want it.

I want it all.

A new me, revised, re opened to the world I currently see, but to be able to see in different eyes
Still mine but in a different perspective.

SOoooooo

It's a new year the last time i wrote was some odd months ago....but I am back brand new and in full effect!! so new poetry, new thuoghts, new me...coming soon..you will see!!!