Rainy Day

Today's entry will be a little bit more than the normal 'poetry post'. I woke up this morning to the sounds of the rain, the beautiful grey gloom and warmth of a heated room. The past couple of days I've got to say my mood has been more, or my soul rather, has been more happy, and in no way shape or form am I complaining about it.I can admit the past week was rough, finding out bad news of various kinds, not knowing whether or not to let it go without expressing myself or vice versa. As of yet, I still haven't dealt with one of the situations that has been bothering me.

At this point, I'm not sure which direction to go in so momentarily I'm leaving it alone. This year in itself has been one HUGE roller coaster ride..Emotionally, mentally and physically. I'm trying to stick with the mindset that everything happens for a reason and God never gives me anything more than what I can handle. Hmm..if it weren't so hard to believe I would say it's a breeze to do, but that's the fear talking. I have to let Faith take over and lose the fear.

I've learned a lot about myself over the past several months, when I love, I love whole heartedly, when I like, I like hard, when put myself into something, whether it be helping a friend, relative whatever the case may be I give my all plus some. I never look for anything in return although I do have this thing where I would expect people to show appreciation. NEWSFLASH: LIFE HITS! Not everyone is in nor on the same page, chapter, or book that I am. I've come to learn that the term accepting people "flaws and all" is one tough thing to do.But when you love, people you deal with all of them not some of them..not a true relationship at all when you cannot keep things real.

I'm glad that I've gotten into the habit of asking myself questions when something goes wrong, or even just at the end of the day. 'What did I learn?' What could I have done differently?' 'What should I have said or not said?' etc. My mom used to always tell me to question myself, and I can't be more grateful that she instilled that in me. I feel that when you can ask yourself something and give yourself an honest answer you have achieved a lot in that moment. Keeping it real with yourself can save you, at least it has with me a lot of drama so to speak. Not saying i haven't set myself up for the okie doke, but after it all was said and done..Back to the drawing board I went. Question after question after question. Some of the answer had me thinking to myself "Damn.Ray, what were you thinking?' All i could do is laugh.. I mean life is a BIG school. I'm here to make mistakes, learn and be hella successful the next go round. ;-)

So, with that being said have a blessed day! ♥