Oh Yea Im Doin Me

I've realized that I can be really concerned with my image. There have been times when I was literally worried (like agonizingly worried) about what someone thought of me and said to or about me - I was really into the opinions of others. The thing is no matter what they said or thought I wouldn't agree - "She thinks I'm nice, she just don't know." "How are y'all going to say I'm dramatic?" "He thinks I'm a bitch, CLEARLY he doesn't know me." The point is these opinions; comments, questions and concerns really don't matter because at the end of the day, these opinions are just that - a belief or judgment with no proof.

 

I was giving the world WAY too much authority in who I'd be or what I'd do or how I'd react to situations. My definition of myself was coming from these random thoughts that people (including myself at times) held, that were just not enough to "define" me - I'm way too big to define. Yes, sometimes I'm silly, nice, (too nice) accommodating, too compromising, selfish, lazy, on point, over analytical, too sensitive, not concerned enough, vain, kindhearted, opinionated, bitchy, junky, super anal, loving, emotional, withdrawn, sharing, giving, crazy sexy cool, judgmental ... you get the point. I can be a lot of things at any given time but those qualities are not ME.
 

 

There is no person, word or quality that defines - which means to set forth the meaning of or identify the essential qualities of - Raina. I am simply who I am and that realization has made the last couple of days..well weeks for that matter so much easier to handle. Instead of living up to some definition, I'm simple doing ME - whatever it is at the moment.